Stuck Tour

The documentary "Stuck" will be shown in Salt Lake City on Monday, April 8th at the Tower Theater at 7 pm.

To Buy your Tickets, click HERE.

For more information about The STUCK Tour click HERE

Free Family Night with Adoption Stories & Games

"This Family Celebrates Adoption" Signs

Alison Lowe, a former Families Supporting Adoption National Board Member, made the following sign:

If you would like to purchase one, contact Alison via Facebook or contact Angie Rhodes at fsablog@gmail.com.  Signs are $10 for one or $20 for 3.

Celebrate Adoption with Utah Adoption Council at Boondocks

*Mandatory Pre-Registration is Required by October 26th.*
http://www.regonline.com/uacadoptionparty2012

7th Annual Adoption Walk With Me

Your Stories Needed!

In an effort to help others within our Layton Chapter, we would like to try something new with our blog. Our hope is to share a variety of adoption stories from all different perspectives and situations to help each of us throughout our own personal journeys. We would like to feature an adoption story, experience, thought, etc. each week on our blog. This can range from a particular family's adoption story, a birth mother or birth father story, the miracles that happened along the journey, stories from those who have gone through different agencies, coping with failed placements, experiences with the approval process, etc.

 

We would absolutely love to hear from you! If you have a story that you would like to share, please e-mail us! Our hope is that by sharing our thoughts and experiences, we can learn and grow together.

 

 

Please e-mail us at laytonfsa@gmail.com if this is something you would like to participate in. Stay tuned for these incredible stories!

Looking forward to hearing from you!

The Agape Project- Adoption

Once Upon A Baby- A Tale of Adoption

Shari Guess is an adoptive mother and author of the new book Once Upon A Baby~A Tale of Adoption which will be released on April 15^th.

The book is geared towards children ages 2-8 as a way to explain and bring comfort while providing answers to the life-long questions of who they are, why they’re here and where they’re going. The sense of always being loved as part of the adoptive family is conveyed throughout the story as the child is born a baby, sealed to his family in the temple and goes on to live with them throughout eternity. 

Illustrations of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ watching over the child and the family, along with guiding the adoptive process occur regularly throughout.  Careful consideration was paid to not glorify or condone unwed pregnancy while still giving due respect and admiration to the biological parents who are illustrated and represented as a necessary and loving part of the child’s story and as ones who love the child in an extra-special way.

To learn more about this book (and to take a sneak peek inside at some of the pages) refer to http://www.onceuponababybook.com/ 

Utah Adoption Council Conference 2012

Registration is now available for this year's Utah Adoption Council Conference, featuring workshops for parents and professionals.

DATES: April 25th and 26th, 2012
LOCATION: South Towne Expo Center, Sandy, Utah

Click HERE to Register.

Upcoming Transracial Adoption Support & Activities

The Domino Foundation is pleased to announce two upcoming activites which provide support to transracial families:

Click to Enlarge

Evergreens Fundraiser Tree

This is the final product of the tree which the Layton Chapter of Families Supporting Adoption recently donated to the Evergreens Fundraiser:

Our tree was trimmed with multi-colored blocks displaying adoption-related words, such as hope, patience, love, journey, tender mercies, and happiness.

The different colored handprints are the actual handprints of adopted children in our chapter!

The bottom of the tree was accesorized with some fun things as well, including various toys and the adoption-related book Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born.

Thank You to everyone who generously donated their time and materials to such a good cause in our community while helping to celebrate adoption!

2011 Adoption Walk With Me

Evergreens Fundraiser- Help Needed!

This year as an FSA Board we have been working hard to increase adoption awareness in our community.  As part of our efforts we have decided to participate in the Evergreens Fundraiser, which is similar to the Festival of Trees, but on a smaller level.  Our chapter is going to donate a decorated tree to be auctioned off at their yearly Christmas Tree Auction and Fundraiser with all proceeds going towards Safe Harbor Crisis Center, a shelter in our community for victims of domestic violence.

More information about the fundraiser can be found at their website: http://www.evergreensfundraiser.org/register.html.

We are excited to do this!  The theme for our tree is "Tell Me Your Story" based on children's adoption books.

The vision of the tree is cut up pages of the books, framed and made into ornaments, as well as handprints of adopted children.  The main colors are burgundy, green, creamy white, yellow, and blue.

We are asking any of you that are able to donate items or your time to please help us in this project as it is a big undertaking!

Here are the list of items we need:

-Vinyl

-Wood Blocks

-Clear, Glass ornaments

-Ribbon

-Wire

-Children's Adoption books

-Wooden ABC Blocks

-Kid's Toys

-Other toys: rag dolls, trains, airplanes

-A Rocking Chair

-An Angel Tree Topper

-Tree Skirt or Fabric to make a tree skirt

-Extension Cord

We are planning a FAMILY NIGHT ACTIVITY to collect and assemble crafts for the tree on MONDAY, OCTOBER 24th at 7 pm at the Church on 3161 W 150 N in Layton.

Our activities committee has some fun Halloween activities planned for the night as well and children are welcome to wear their costumes if they want.

If you are interested in helping please contact us at laytonfsa@gmail.com.

We appreciate all efforts to help!

Sincerely,

                Layton Families Supporting Adoption Board

Transracial Adoption Playgroup

If transracial adoption has helped build your family you are invited to a weekly playgroup.  Wednesdays at 10AM.  If rainy we meet at the play area in Layton Hills Mall.  If sunny we meet at the playground in Layton Commons Park. 

Hope to see you there!

Celebrating Adoption Walk

Click Image to Enlarge

Talking to your child About Adoption

The following information was compiled by Angie Rhodes using sources such as Adoptive Families Magazine, Raising Adopted Children, Talking with Young Children About Adoption, Making Sense of Adoption, and Real Parents Real Children: Parenting the Adopted Child.

Talking to your Child About Adoption

WHY?

1. To answer your child’s questions.
2. To help your child understand what it means to be adopted. They can’t move forward into the future unless they have a grasp of what happened in the past.
3. To prepare your child for talking to/answering questions from other people about adoption.
4. To communicate a willingness to talk about it. To establish an environment of openness instead of secrecy.
5. To avoid “fantasy” – both good and bad.

1. Fantasize that birthparents are celebrities
2. Worry that birthparents didn’t want them because they were bad or cried too much.

6. To give the child a positive sense of self.

1. Positive sense of self gives comfort and confidence with adoption.
2. “A child is influenced by adoptive family and birth family – and by his or her perception of his/her adoptive family and birth family.

HOW?

1. With the right attitude/demeanor. If adoption conversations are approached in a nurturing way, your child will trust and feel safe talking about it with you.

1. Approachable
2. Comfortable (if you are uncomfortable, discussions may be awkward or avoided. If children detect unease in discussing adoption, they may conclude that something is wrong with them.
3. Non-defensive, non-threatened by questions.
4. Keep things casual. Adoption conversations don’t have to be serious, sit-down, heavy talks.

2. With the right tone of voice.

1. A hushed tone can convey shame or secrecy.
2. An elevated tone can convey anxiety or distress.

WHEN?

1. From the beginning.

1. The earliest years are good practice for when your child understands more, and you can get comfortable talking about it. Adoption language will become part of your lexicon.
2. It won’t be an emotionally laden revelation for the child to learn later.

2. Often enough that your child knows it isn’t a taboo topic.
3. Often enough that you are addressing changes in understanding and emotions throughout different developmental stages.
4. Not so often that s/he feels set apart by his/her “adoptedness.” Talking excessively can leave a child feeling that there is something wrong with being adopted, or that adoption is the most important part of his/her identity.
5. When it is relevant. At some times in a child’s life, that is going to be frequent and sometimes it’s going to be infrequent.
6. When it is appropriate. Utilize boundaries of privacy when talking about adoption with strangers or acquaintances. Sometimes we get a bit eager and overzealous when it comes to adoption and divulge too much. Learn to speak in generalities.
7. Follow your child’s lead. (This does NOT mean you have to wait for your child to bring it up!)

1. Be available and willing to talk about it when they want to.
2. Don’t push the subject when they don’t want to talk about it.

8. Take advantage of opportunities as they arise.

1. When other people are pregnant/have a baby/adopt a baby
2. When you adopt again

WHAT?

1. Tell the truth.
2. Use the gospel, your testimony of your child’s adoption.

1. "Never forget that these little ones are the sons and daughters of God and that yours is a custodial relationship to them, that He was a parent before you were parents and that He has not relinquished His parental rights or interest in these His little ones. Now, love them, take care of them." President Gordon B. Hinckley
2. Heavenly Father is aware of them as individuals, and made sure they ended up where they were supposed to be.
3. Personal spiritual experiences that told you your child was meant to be in your family.

3. Remain positive about birth family, and empathetic towards any negative facts there might be.
4. Explain that adoption is an adult decision. Be careful with the “love” explanation. You love him. Are you going to place him with a new family?
5. It’s okay to say, “I don’t know.”
6. It’s okay to postulate – use likelihoods.

1. “We’re not sure what your birthfather looked like. But since your birthmother is fair, he probably has dark hair like you do.”
2. “You have such natural talent for music. I wonder if your birth mother is musical, too.”

7. Acknowledge birth parents, not just ethnic or cultural heritage to avoid ideas of “hatching.”
8. Utilize communication from or open relationship with birth parents.
9. Tell the child’s story – lifebook.
10. Use adoption books, either as a springboard for discussion with your child or as an example to you of things you can say.
11. In developmentally appropriate layers.

1. Conversations will be repeated often throughout the years. Begin with the basics in language your child can understand and build on that through the years as they understand more. Increasing maturity brings increased understanding and emotions.
2. Try to listen for what your child is really asking. If your child asks to call her birth mother, she may really mean, “I want to know more about this person.” That’s an opening. Ask, “What do you think she’d be like? What would you say to her? What do you think she might say to you?”

12. Throw out “pebbles” to invite questions/conversation.

1. “You are such a good artist. You must get that from your birth mom.”
2. “I always think of your birthparents on your birthday. They must be thinking of you, too.”
3. Speak about adoption to your spouse in your child’s hearing.

For additional adoption literature refer to Utah's Adoption Connection Lending Library (also listed on the sidebar of our blog under "Helpful Links".)

Utah Adoption Council Conference

UTAH ADOPTION COUNCIL CONFERENCE
May 11 & May 12, 2011
South Towne Center
Sandy, Utah

Click HERE for Registration Details

Faith and Infertility

This month's Ensign has a wonderful article, "Faith and Infertility" which features the personal accounts of four couples (FSA National Board members, incidentally) who share how they have maintained faith and hope while struggling with infertility.

Click here to see the PDF version, which includes pictures of their beautiful families built through adoption.

Being Noah's Mom 100%

The following is a story from Laura and Chris Parker about how their oldest son, Noah, joined their family through adoption.  Noah's birthmother, Heather, also shares her perspective.

As told by Noah's daddy Chris...

Noah truly is our little miracle, brought to us by an angel named Heather. We're forever grateful for our little Noah and all the twists and turns in the path bringing him to us.

Laura and I spent a number of years wondering exactly how and when children would join our family. Lots of emotions--highs and lows--and lots of doctor visits passed before we finally realized that we wanted to adopt. We have a few adopted family members and were quite excited to pursue adoption.

So, we began the process of adopting through an agency. We took some classes and worked on paperwork, taking our time despite our enthusiasm because of the emotional drain it was to consider so many of the issues that come up with adoption. We were finally approved and began waiting to be chosen by that special birthmother. After some ups and downs, we finally found Noah's angel.

As told by Noah's birthmother Heather...

Well it all started on June 07, 2005 when I found out I was almost 4 months pregnant! It was a hard thing to imagine, me having a baby? No way! But it was true...God had granted me the gift of a child.

I was probably about 5 months pregnant when my aunt came to my mother and said that she had found a home for me to go to in North Dakota, where I could have my son and no one would know about it, and I could walk away with a clean slate. I didn't feel that was an appropriate way to go about having a child.

I started exploring other options, talking to the bishop in my ward about what I should do. He suggested LDS Family Services, for adoption. I knew my family and I were in no position to raise a child when we were just trying to make ends meet for my mother, sister and me.

I wasnt sure if I could go through with it though, but nonetheless I went and started talking to a counselor and going to group therapy with the other girls in the same position as I was and other girls who had placed their children. Most of them seemed to be having a hard time, I was terrified. I didn't go back there for a couple weeks hoping they would forget about me...They didn't. My counselor showed up at my house and asked me if I would look at some profiles of some prospective parents for my son.

I let them sit under my bed for a couple nights and one night I woke up in the middle of the night with a feeling that I needed to at least look at them, so I did. I got through about 4 of them and was exausted from all the emotion and how all these people wanted a child and I was too selfish to give them MINE.

A couple days later my mom asked me to sit down and look at a couple, so I put them behind my back and pulled out three for me and three for her. I looked at one and didnt even read it just acted like it, so mom wouldnt be mad. The next couple was interesting but there were a couple things I didnt like. As I went to flip the page in this intresting profile I saw the picture of the couple underneath. They looked amazing, so much love between them, so much security. I couldn't help but put the other one down and read theirs.

Their names were Chris and Laura, their names just flow together and their life was like out of a dream. I knew from then on that they were the ones, they were the ones to be the parents of my son, to love him, and cherish him. To hold him in the middle of the night, to cry when he is sad, to be ecstatic when he is happy. They were it.

So the day comes to tell them, and they were the happiest people ever, and so was I. I knew I was doing the right thing for my son. I loved him and so did they.

Chris again...

See, I told you she was an angel. It was important to Heather for us to be a part of her doctor's appointments and she even sweet-talked the doctor into a free ultrasound so that we could see our Noah. I still don't think she knows how much it means to us that we got to have that experience--one we thought we would never have when we finally realized that having children biologically was not in our future. She also wanted us to have a lot of time with Noah in the hospital after his birth. I cherish the memory of giving Noah his first bottle, and walking him through the maternity ward in his bassinet, telling him about all the things we were going to do together as he grew up. Those are all memories that we have only because of Heather's grace and love.

The day came for placement and it was the strangest, wonderful, anguished blend of emotions I've ever felt. Everyone knew what was good and right, but the pain we saw in Heather and the immeasurable joy at our long-awaited parenthood certainly created an interesting cocktail of emotions. We brought our little Noah home and held him in his nursery. We put him to bed lovingly, wondering if he really would be okay all night without us there making sure he was still breathing. He was.

He is ours, but still belongs to our angel, Heather, too. Laura's his mommy and I'm his daddy and he has another who loves him dearly. He truly is our little miracle. When Noah turned one, Laura wrote this in her journal and it really sums up how we feel about our relationship with Noah's birth-mom.

"Over all, this is what I have learned about adoption this year: I AM Noah's mother 100%. I will forever share a sacred part of motherhood with another daughter of God, and not only am I o.k. with that, I rejoice in that. I'm so grateful that Heavenly Father chose me to have this kind of experience - to make me a mother this way. Noah has two very significant, but different, "mother figures" in his life. He is someone else's son, and mine too. There is no limit to love. Just like a parent can love more than one child equally, a child can love more than one mother. Even though Noah has two "mother figures" our roles in no way compete or conflict with each other. One mother gave him life, and with the other one he will live his life. The only thing that is the same about our roles as his "mothers" is the love we have for him, and even that is completely unique to each of us."

Part of the Family

This month's Friend Magazine features a heart-warming story about adoption geared especially towards little ones.  Click HERE to read the PDF version.  The story is on pages 36 and 37.

For additional articles and stories about adoption in Church Publications click here.