What's Mine Is Yours....

Katherine Nelson is an accomplished artist whose third CD, Born Brave, includes a wonderful song about motherhood.  She rights on her website...."This song was written for every woman who has the heart of a mother, both old and young, and especially to those who yearn for a family of their own."

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What's Mine is Yours

Counting down days since nine months last summer
From the baby quilts to the sunshine light-switch cover
All the plans she made
Wall-papered dreams she made for him someday

Doctor hardly glanced her way shut off the monitor
As he walked out the door said “You’re young, there’ll be others”
No sirens or loud screams
No rushing or comforting
It was just over

On the longest road toward home
She parked in the church lot and cried
And said

What’s mine is yours
It’s always been
What slips through my hands has your fingerprints on it
I’m letting go
Remembering
Though Heaven’s doors feel shut they’re wide open
What’s mine is yours

Teenage girl clinging to the gates of mercy
Holding the weight of the world and her newborn baby
Trying her best to be brave
Wrapped in hope giving him away to a longing family

When her courage met their eyes she saw
Somehow her baby was born to be in their arms
And cried

(Chorus)

In this life we come and go and say goodbye
But there’s more than we can see with our own eyes
And when my faith’s a thread-bare blanket and I can’t take it anymore
I remember

What’s mine is yours

I’m letting go
Remembering
Though heaven’s doors feel shut they’re wide open
What’s mine is yours

(Katherine Nelson, Deanna Harper)

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If you'd like to hear a portion of this song, or download it, visit....... http://www.katherinenelson.com/album/

Birthmother Quotes....

 

 

he is mine in a way that he will never be hers, yet he is hers in a way that he will never be mine, and so together, we are motherhood. ~desha wood

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 a birthmother puts the needs of her child above the wants of her heart ~Skye Hardwick

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my mother gave me softest hair and moonlit eyes and skin so smooth. she gave me life, her flesh and blood, a place to grow, and warmth and food. but when i came into the world, her life stared deep into her soul. she knew she could not give me all so she placed me to make me whole.  ~unknown

Two Mothers

We are excited to include on our Layton FSA blog a series of adoption quotes and poems as well as other words of wisdom regarding adoption.  We hope you enjoy these little treasures and be looking for them every Monday!

TWO MOTHERS

 

 

Once there were two women who never knew each other
One you may not remember, the other you call Mother

Two different lives shaped to make you one
One became your guiding star, the other became your sun

The first gave you life, and the second guided you on your way
The first gave you love, the second reminded you every day

One gave you a nationality, the other gave you a name
One gave you a talent, the other gave you aim

One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears
One saw your first sweet smile, the other dried your tears

One made an adoption plan, that was all that she could do
The other prayed for a child, and God led her straight to you

Now, which of these two women, are you the product of?
Both, my darling, both! Just two different types of love.

--Unknown.

How Could She Let Him Go?

The following article is from this month's Ensign:

I learned a surprising lesson when my sister placed her baby for adoption.

10408When my younger sister, Lauren, told me she was pregnant, I couldn’t have been more upset for her. She had just come from telling the baby’s father, who had abdicated any responsibility, and she was devastated. All I could do was hold her while she cried.

Lauren’s Decision

After talking to our mother, Lauren decided to see a counselor at LDS Family Services and begin procedures to place her baby for adoption. I was appalled. How could she think about giving up her baby? He had a family! Her decision split our family down the middle. My parents and one sister supported the adoption, and my other two sisters were as opposed as I was. I was so angry that most days I stayed away from our apartment. How could she possibly feel good about abandoning her baby to strangers?

My mother and sister Jennifer arrived to be with Lauren the day before her due date. There was no one else to take them to the hospital the next morning, so despite my resolve not to participate, I found myself walking down the long, sterile corridors of the maternity ward.

The doctor looked somber as he came out of the operating room. He said, “Lauren will be back to her room in about half an hour, but the baby was sent to the intensive care unit. He is having difficulty breathing.”

My mother and I headed to the intensive care unit while Jennifer waited for Lauren to come out of recovery. A nurse motioned us to an incubator where I looked into the face of my new nephew. He looked just like Lauren. I had been praying that she would change her mind and keep him, but now I just prayed he would live.

As my mother and I stood vigil the third morning, the nurse said, “You know it’s not too late to back out of the adoption.” I saw a steady stream of tears falling down my mother’s cheeks. For the first time I realized I wasn’t the only one hurting. “I don’t know how we’ll be able to do this,” she said.

One Day with Ryan

Ryan—that was what Lauren had decided to call him. We would get only one day with him before his adoptive parents took custody.

It was almost noon by the time we got everything situated at the hospital the day Lauren and Ryan were released, and we only had him until six o’clock that evening. We had decided to pack a picnic lunch and take him to the park. It was a lovely day, and we enjoyed watching him eat and stretch and sleep. He was so contented and sweet. I kept thinking there was no way I could go through with this. I had never known love like I felt for that tiny baby. He wasn’t even mine, but how could I let him go?

When we arrived at LDS Family Services, I lifted Ryan out of his car seat and eased him into Lauren’s lap, and she cuddled him. We sat there drinking in these last precious moments that would have to last a lifetime.

Lauren handed him to me so she could get out of the car. I had the impulse to run, but before I could, the door to the office opened and a social worker came to greet us. Then something amazing happened. I stepped out of my dark world, over the building threshold, and into the warmth of what I imagine heaven will be like. That’s the only way I can explain it. The room was enveloped in the sweetest, warmest spirit I have ever felt. The adoptive parents had an aura about them that melted my heart. I knew they were meant to be Ryan’s parents.

My sister made the right choice. She would have struggled just to put food on the table if she had kept Ryan. She loved him but could not have given him the choicest gift—that of a temple sealing to his parents. I’m thankful my sister’s vision saw beyond her loss, that her ears heeded a prophet’s counsel, and that the healing power of the Atonement can comfort us in our deepest sorrows.

For additional information about adoption services, contact LDS Family Services at 800-537-2229, or visit www.ldsfamilyservices.org.

The Agape Project- Adoption

Wanted: Homemade Cupcakes and Fleece Material

Calling all Martha Stewarts! (Or anyody who would like to serve).  Our agency's annual Birthmother Dinner is coming up on Thursday, May 5th to honor all of the birthmothers and prospective birthmothers who have received support through our agency.  If you would like to help make this event a special one for these women, please donate:

-2 DOZEN HOMEMADE CUPCAKES for dessert following the dinner

and/or

-FLEECE MATERIAL for a blanket-making Service Project that the birthmothers will be doing that night.

Please contact us at laytonfsa@gmail.com if you are willing to help.

Thank You.  Your service is greatly appreciated!

Being Noah's Mom 100%

The following is a story from Laura and Chris Parker about how their oldest son, Noah, joined their family through adoption.  Noah's birthmother, Heather, also shares her perspective.

As told by Noah's daddy Chris...

Noah truly is our little miracle, brought to us by an angel named Heather. We're forever grateful for our little Noah and all the twists and turns in the path bringing him to us.

Laura and I spent a number of years wondering exactly how and when children would join our family. Lots of emotions--highs and lows--and lots of doctor visits passed before we finally realized that we wanted to adopt. We have a few adopted family members and were quite excited to pursue adoption.

So, we began the process of adopting through an agency. We took some classes and worked on paperwork, taking our time despite our enthusiasm because of the emotional drain it was to consider so many of the issues that come up with adoption. We were finally approved and began waiting to be chosen by that special birthmother. After some ups and downs, we finally found Noah's angel.

As told by Noah's birthmother Heather...

Well it all started on June 07, 2005 when I found out I was almost 4 months pregnant! It was a hard thing to imagine, me having a baby? No way! But it was true...God had granted me the gift of a child.

I was probably about 5 months pregnant when my aunt came to my mother and said that she had found a home for me to go to in North Dakota, where I could have my son and no one would know about it, and I could walk away with a clean slate. I didn't feel that was an appropriate way to go about having a child.

I started exploring other options, talking to the bishop in my ward about what I should do. He suggested LDS Family Services, for adoption. I knew my family and I were in no position to raise a child when we were just trying to make ends meet for my mother, sister and me.

I wasnt sure if I could go through with it though, but nonetheless I went and started talking to a counselor and going to group therapy with the other girls in the same position as I was and other girls who had placed their children. Most of them seemed to be having a hard time, I was terrified. I didn't go back there for a couple weeks hoping they would forget about me...They didn't. My counselor showed up at my house and asked me if I would look at some profiles of some prospective parents for my son.

I let them sit under my bed for a couple nights and one night I woke up in the middle of the night with a feeling that I needed to at least look at them, so I did. I got through about 4 of them and was exausted from all the emotion and how all these people wanted a child and I was too selfish to give them MINE.

A couple days later my mom asked me to sit down and look at a couple, so I put them behind my back and pulled out three for me and three for her. I looked at one and didnt even read it just acted like it, so mom wouldnt be mad. The next couple was interesting but there were a couple things I didnt like. As I went to flip the page in this intresting profile I saw the picture of the couple underneath. They looked amazing, so much love between them, so much security. I couldn't help but put the other one down and read theirs.

Their names were Chris and Laura, their names just flow together and their life was like out of a dream. I knew from then on that they were the ones, they were the ones to be the parents of my son, to love him, and cherish him. To hold him in the middle of the night, to cry when he is sad, to be ecstatic when he is happy. They were it.

So the day comes to tell them, and they were the happiest people ever, and so was I. I knew I was doing the right thing for my son. I loved him and so did they.

Chris again...

See, I told you she was an angel. It was important to Heather for us to be a part of her doctor's appointments and she even sweet-talked the doctor into a free ultrasound so that we could see our Noah. I still don't think she knows how much it means to us that we got to have that experience--one we thought we would never have when we finally realized that having children biologically was not in our future. She also wanted us to have a lot of time with Noah in the hospital after his birth. I cherish the memory of giving Noah his first bottle, and walking him through the maternity ward in his bassinet, telling him about all the things we were going to do together as he grew up. Those are all memories that we have only because of Heather's grace and love.

The day came for placement and it was the strangest, wonderful, anguished blend of emotions I've ever felt. Everyone knew what was good and right, but the pain we saw in Heather and the immeasurable joy at our long-awaited parenthood certainly created an interesting cocktail of emotions. We brought our little Noah home and held him in his nursery. We put him to bed lovingly, wondering if he really would be okay all night without us there making sure he was still breathing. He was.

He is ours, but still belongs to our angel, Heather, too. Laura's his mommy and I'm his daddy and he has another who loves him dearly. He truly is our little miracle. When Noah turned one, Laura wrote this in her journal and it really sums up how we feel about our relationship with Noah's birth-mom.

"Over all, this is what I have learned about adoption this year: I AM Noah's mother 100%. I will forever share a sacred part of motherhood with another daughter of God, and not only am I o.k. with that, I rejoice in that. I'm so grateful that Heavenly Father chose me to have this kind of experience - to make me a mother this way. Noah has two very significant, but different, "mother figures" in his life. He is someone else's son, and mine too. There is no limit to love. Just like a parent can love more than one child equally, a child can love more than one mother. Even though Noah has two "mother figures" our roles in no way compete or conflict with each other. One mother gave him life, and with the other one he will live his life. The only thing that is the same about our roles as his "mothers" is the love we have for him, and even that is completely unique to each of us."

Adoption Myths & Realities

Click HERE for enlarged downloadable version

Chat Night FYI

Layton FSA and Centerville FSA will continue to meet together the 3rd Wednesday of every month {usually}for Chat Nights, an informal gathering where we meet together in someone’s home and discuss adoption-related topics.  Feel free to bring any adoption-related questions, comments or stories you would like to share.

Chat group is a great opportunity for adoptive couples and prospective adoptive couples to get to know and support each other.

UPCOMING CHAT NIGHTS:

Thursday, October 21st
International Adoptions
7 pm at the home of Jeff & Elizabeth Reed

Wednesday, November 17th
Balancing the Relationship with Multiple Birthmoms
7 pm at the home of Jeff & Elizabeth Reed

Questions? E-mail Elizabeth Reed at elizabethreed_@hotmail.com.