We See The Moon

We See The Moon
By Carrie A. Kitze
We See the Moon is an adoption story for older children starting to ask some of the more complex issues surrounding their adoption. Although the book is about a child adopted from China, it is appropriate for every type of adoption. In a series of questions, including those that adoptive children are often afraid to ask, a child receives answers that are both difficult and reassuring to hear.

When Love Takes You In....

 

When Love Takes You In

 

When Love Takes You In  (click here to see a video and hear this amazing song!)
by Steven Curtis Chapman

I know you’ve heard the stories
But they all sound too good to be true
You’ve heard about a place called home
But there doesn’t seem to be one for you
So one more night you cry yourself to sleep
And drift off to a distant dream
Where love takes you in and everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart
When love takes you home and says you belong here
The loneliness ends and a new life begins
When love takes you in
And somewhere while you’re sleeping
Someone else is dreaming too
Counting down the days until
They hold you close and say I love you
And like the rain that falls into the sea
In a moment what has been is lost in what will be
When love takes you in everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart
And this love will never let you go
There is nothing that could ever cause this love to lose its hold
When love takes you in everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart
When love takes you home and says you belong here
The loneliness ends and a new life begins
When love takes you in it takes you in for good
When love takes you in

**********************************************************************************
Chapman is a vocal advocate for adoption, along with his wife Mary Beth. Together, they have started a charity organization called Show Hope (formerly called Shaohannah's Hope), that mobilizes individuals and communities to care for orphans through its international orphan care work as well as adoption aid grants to help put more orphans from overseas and the U.S. in loving, forever families.  After having three children biologically, the Chapmans adopted three beautiful children from overseas.  Also click below to learn more about Show Hope.

Patience and Waiting

....so true for adoption!

 

 

 

From God's Arms, To My Arms, To Yours...

 (This poem was based on the writings of a young birth mother, whom she shared with songwriter Michael McClean. It has been set to music and comes with a 100% guarantee that no one who has been involved with adoption in any way will make it all the way through with dry eyes! )

© Michael McLean

So many wrong decisions in my past, I'm not quite sure
If I can ever hope to trust my judgement anymore.
But lately I've been thinking,
Cause it's all I've had to do.
And in my heart I feel that I
Should give this child to you.
And maybe, you could tell your baby,
When you love him so, that he's been loved before, By someone, who delivered your son,
From God's arms, to my arms, to yours.

If you choose to tell him,
If he wants to know,
How the one who gave him life
Could bear to let him go.
Just tell him there were sleepless nights,
I prayed and paced the floors,
And knew the only peace I'd find,
Was if this child was yours.

And maybe, you could tell your baby,
When you love him so, that he's been loved before,
By someone, who delivered your son,
From God's arms, to my arms, to yours.

This may not be the answer,
For another girl like me.
But I'm not on a soapbox,
Saying how we all should be.
I'm just trusting in my feelings,
And I'm trusting God above,
And I'm trusting you can give this baby
Both his mothers' love.
And maybe, you could tell your baby,
When you love him so, that he's been loved before,
By someone, who delivered your son,
From God's arms, to my arms, to yours.

 

Click here to see it performed by Michael Mclean....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDOGYeysZ7o

 

Birthmother Quotes....

 

 

he is mine in a way that he will never be hers, yet he is hers in a way that he will never be mine, and so together, we are motherhood. ~desha wood

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 a birthmother puts the needs of her child above the wants of her heart ~Skye Hardwick

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

my mother gave me softest hair and moonlit eyes and skin so smooth. she gave me life, her flesh and blood, a place to grow, and warmth and food. but when i came into the world, her life stared deep into her soul. she knew she could not give me all so she placed me to make me whole.  ~unknown

Two Mothers

We are excited to include on our Layton FSA blog a series of adoption quotes and poems as well as other words of wisdom regarding adoption.  We hope you enjoy these little treasures and be looking for them every Monday!

TWO MOTHERS

 

 

Once there were two women who never knew each other
One you may not remember, the other you call Mother

Two different lives shaped to make you one
One became your guiding star, the other became your sun

The first gave you life, and the second guided you on your way
The first gave you love, the second reminded you every day

One gave you a nationality, the other gave you a name
One gave you a talent, the other gave you aim

One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears
One saw your first sweet smile, the other dried your tears

One made an adoption plan, that was all that she could do
The other prayed for a child, and God led her straight to you

Now, which of these two women, are you the product of?
Both, my darling, both! Just two different types of love.

--Unknown.

How Could She Let Him Go?

The following article is from this month's Ensign:

I learned a surprising lesson when my sister placed her baby for adoption.

10408When my younger sister, Lauren, told me she was pregnant, I couldn’t have been more upset for her. She had just come from telling the baby’s father, who had abdicated any responsibility, and she was devastated. All I could do was hold her while she cried.

Lauren’s Decision

After talking to our mother, Lauren decided to see a counselor at LDS Family Services and begin procedures to place her baby for adoption. I was appalled. How could she think about giving up her baby? He had a family! Her decision split our family down the middle. My parents and one sister supported the adoption, and my other two sisters were as opposed as I was. I was so angry that most days I stayed away from our apartment. How could she possibly feel good about abandoning her baby to strangers?

My mother and sister Jennifer arrived to be with Lauren the day before her due date. There was no one else to take them to the hospital the next morning, so despite my resolve not to participate, I found myself walking down the long, sterile corridors of the maternity ward.

The doctor looked somber as he came out of the operating room. He said, “Lauren will be back to her room in about half an hour, but the baby was sent to the intensive care unit. He is having difficulty breathing.”

My mother and I headed to the intensive care unit while Jennifer waited for Lauren to come out of recovery. A nurse motioned us to an incubator where I looked into the face of my new nephew. He looked just like Lauren. I had been praying that she would change her mind and keep him, but now I just prayed he would live.

As my mother and I stood vigil the third morning, the nurse said, “You know it’s not too late to back out of the adoption.” I saw a steady stream of tears falling down my mother’s cheeks. For the first time I realized I wasn’t the only one hurting. “I don’t know how we’ll be able to do this,” she said.

One Day with Ryan

Ryan—that was what Lauren had decided to call him. We would get only one day with him before his adoptive parents took custody.

It was almost noon by the time we got everything situated at the hospital the day Lauren and Ryan were released, and we only had him until six o’clock that evening. We had decided to pack a picnic lunch and take him to the park. It was a lovely day, and we enjoyed watching him eat and stretch and sleep. He was so contented and sweet. I kept thinking there was no way I could go through with this. I had never known love like I felt for that tiny baby. He wasn’t even mine, but how could I let him go?

When we arrived at LDS Family Services, I lifted Ryan out of his car seat and eased him into Lauren’s lap, and she cuddled him. We sat there drinking in these last precious moments that would have to last a lifetime.

Lauren handed him to me so she could get out of the car. I had the impulse to run, but before I could, the door to the office opened and a social worker came to greet us. Then something amazing happened. I stepped out of my dark world, over the building threshold, and into the warmth of what I imagine heaven will be like. That’s the only way I can explain it. The room was enveloped in the sweetest, warmest spirit I have ever felt. The adoptive parents had an aura about them that melted my heart. I knew they were meant to be Ryan’s parents.

My sister made the right choice. She would have struggled just to put food on the table if she had kept Ryan. She loved him but could not have given him the choicest gift—that of a temple sealing to his parents. I’m thankful my sister’s vision saw beyond her loss, that her ears heeded a prophet’s counsel, and that the healing power of the Atonement can comfort us in our deepest sorrows.

For additional information about adoption services, contact LDS Family Services at 800-537-2229, or visit www.ldsfamilyservices.org.

Chat Night with Kerstin Daynes

Waiting Upon the Lord

If there is one thing that adoptive families and those who are going through the adoption process are familiar with it is WAITING. At times waiting can be discouraging- especially when one’s righteous desires and pleas to the Lord seem to go unnoticed.

The following excerpts are taken from the most recent General Conference and address the topics of waiting on the Lord, receiving answers to prayers, and obtaining blessings promised by God, particularly parenthood.

From Elder Robert D. Hales Waiting Upon the Lord: Thy Will Be Done:

. . . The purpose of our life on earth is to grow, develop, and be strengthened through our own experiences. How do we do this? The scriptures give us an answer in one simple phrase: we “wait upon the Lord.”¹² Tests and trials are given to all of us. These mortal challenges allow us and our Heavenly Father to see whether we will exercise our agency to follow His Son. He already knows, and we have the opportunity to learn, that no matter how difficult our circumstances, “all these things shall [be for our] experience, and … [our] good.”¹³

What, then, does it mean to wait upon the Lord? In the scriptures, the word wait means to hope, to anticipate, and to trust. To hope and trust in the Lord requires faith, patience, humility, meekness, long-suffering, keeping the commandments, and enduring to the end.

To wait upon the Lord means planting the seed of faith and nourishing it “with great diligence, and … patience.”¹⁷

It means praying as the Savior did—to God, our Heavenly Father—saying: “Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done.”¹⁸ It is a prayer we offer with our whole souls in the name of our Savior, Jesus Christ.

Waiting upon the Lord means pondering in our hearts and “receiv[ing] the Holy Ghost” so that we can know “all things what [we] should do.”¹⁹

As we follow the promptings of the Spirit, we discover that “tribulation worketh patience”²⁰ and we learn to “continue in patience until [we] are perfected.”²¹ 

We may not know when or how the Lord’s answers will be given, but in His time and His way, I testify, His answers will come. For some answers we may have to wait until the hereafter. This may be true for some promises in our patriarchal blessings and for some blessings for family members. Let us not give up on the Lord. His blessings are eternal, not temporary.

He hears your prayers. His peace and rest will be yours as you continue to wait upon Him in faith.

From Barbara Thompson’s Personal Revelation and Testimony:

The way to receive personal revelation is really quite clear. We need to desire to receive revelation, we must not harden our hearts, and then we need to ask in faith, truly believe that we will receive an answer, and then diligently keep the commandments of God.

Following this pattern does not mean that every time we ask a question of God, the answer will immediately appear with every detail of what to do. However, it does mean that if we diligently keep the commandments and ask in faith, answers will come in the Lord’s own way and in His time.

From Neil L. Anderson’s Children:

The bearing of children can also be a heartbreaking subject for righteous couples who marry and find that they are unable to have the children they so anxiously anticipated or for a husband and wife who plan on having a large family but are blessed with a smaller family.

We cannot always explain the difficulties of our mortality. Sometimes life seems very unfair—especially when our greatest desire is to do exactly what the Lord has commanded. As the Lord’s servant, I assure you that this promise is certain: “Faithful members whose circumstances do not allow them to receive the blessings of eternal marriage and parenthood in this life will receive all promised blessings in the eternities, [as] they keep the covenants they have made with God.”¹⁷

Clarksons- Parents in a Day

Faith and Infertility

This month's Ensign has a wonderful article, "Faith and Infertility" which features the personal accounts of four couples (FSA National Board members, incidentally) who share how they have maintained faith and hope while struggling with infertility.

Click here to see the PDF version, which includes pictures of their beautiful families built through adoption.

Being Noah's Mom 100%

The following is a story from Laura and Chris Parker about how their oldest son, Noah, joined their family through adoption.  Noah's birthmother, Heather, also shares her perspective.

As told by Noah's daddy Chris...

Noah truly is our little miracle, brought to us by an angel named Heather. We're forever grateful for our little Noah and all the twists and turns in the path bringing him to us.

Laura and I spent a number of years wondering exactly how and when children would join our family. Lots of emotions--highs and lows--and lots of doctor visits passed before we finally realized that we wanted to adopt. We have a few adopted family members and were quite excited to pursue adoption.

So, we began the process of adopting through an agency. We took some classes and worked on paperwork, taking our time despite our enthusiasm because of the emotional drain it was to consider so many of the issues that come up with adoption. We were finally approved and began waiting to be chosen by that special birthmother. After some ups and downs, we finally found Noah's angel.

As told by Noah's birthmother Heather...

Well it all started on June 07, 2005 when I found out I was almost 4 months pregnant! It was a hard thing to imagine, me having a baby? No way! But it was true...God had granted me the gift of a child.

I was probably about 5 months pregnant when my aunt came to my mother and said that she had found a home for me to go to in North Dakota, where I could have my son and no one would know about it, and I could walk away with a clean slate. I didn't feel that was an appropriate way to go about having a child.

I started exploring other options, talking to the bishop in my ward about what I should do. He suggested LDS Family Services, for adoption. I knew my family and I were in no position to raise a child when we were just trying to make ends meet for my mother, sister and me.

I wasnt sure if I could go through with it though, but nonetheless I went and started talking to a counselor and going to group therapy with the other girls in the same position as I was and other girls who had placed their children. Most of them seemed to be having a hard time, I was terrified. I didn't go back there for a couple weeks hoping they would forget about me...They didn't. My counselor showed up at my house and asked me if I would look at some profiles of some prospective parents for my son.

I let them sit under my bed for a couple nights and one night I woke up in the middle of the night with a feeling that I needed to at least look at them, so I did. I got through about 4 of them and was exausted from all the emotion and how all these people wanted a child and I was too selfish to give them MINE.

A couple days later my mom asked me to sit down and look at a couple, so I put them behind my back and pulled out three for me and three for her. I looked at one and didnt even read it just acted like it, so mom wouldnt be mad. The next couple was interesting but there were a couple things I didnt like. As I went to flip the page in this intresting profile I saw the picture of the couple underneath. They looked amazing, so much love between them, so much security. I couldn't help but put the other one down and read theirs.

Their names were Chris and Laura, their names just flow together and their life was like out of a dream. I knew from then on that they were the ones, they were the ones to be the parents of my son, to love him, and cherish him. To hold him in the middle of the night, to cry when he is sad, to be ecstatic when he is happy. They were it.

So the day comes to tell them, and they were the happiest people ever, and so was I. I knew I was doing the right thing for my son. I loved him and so did they.

Chris again...

See, I told you she was an angel. It was important to Heather for us to be a part of her doctor's appointments and she even sweet-talked the doctor into a free ultrasound so that we could see our Noah. I still don't think she knows how much it means to us that we got to have that experience--one we thought we would never have when we finally realized that having children biologically was not in our future. She also wanted us to have a lot of time with Noah in the hospital after his birth. I cherish the memory of giving Noah his first bottle, and walking him through the maternity ward in his bassinet, telling him about all the things we were going to do together as he grew up. Those are all memories that we have only because of Heather's grace and love.

The day came for placement and it was the strangest, wonderful, anguished blend of emotions I've ever felt. Everyone knew what was good and right, but the pain we saw in Heather and the immeasurable joy at our long-awaited parenthood certainly created an interesting cocktail of emotions. We brought our little Noah home and held him in his nursery. We put him to bed lovingly, wondering if he really would be okay all night without us there making sure he was still breathing. He was.

He is ours, but still belongs to our angel, Heather, too. Laura's his mommy and I'm his daddy and he has another who loves him dearly. He truly is our little miracle. When Noah turned one, Laura wrote this in her journal and it really sums up how we feel about our relationship with Noah's birth-mom.

"Over all, this is what I have learned about adoption this year: I AM Noah's mother 100%. I will forever share a sacred part of motherhood with another daughter of God, and not only am I o.k. with that, I rejoice in that. I'm so grateful that Heavenly Father chose me to have this kind of experience - to make me a mother this way. Noah has two very significant, but different, "mother figures" in his life. He is someone else's son, and mine too. There is no limit to love. Just like a parent can love more than one child equally, a child can love more than one mother. Even though Noah has two "mother figures" our roles in no way compete or conflict with each other. One mother gave him life, and with the other one he will live his life. The only thing that is the same about our roles as his "mothers" is the love we have for him, and even that is completely unique to each of us."

Part of the Family

This month's Friend Magazine features a heart-warming story about adoption geared especially towards little ones.  Click HERE to read the PDF version.  The story is on pages 36 and 37.

For additional articles and stories about adoption in Church Publications click here.

Hope Amidst Grief

Grief, my old friend and foe. Sometimes you trickle and sometimes you flow. I long to forget you but know that without you my compassion does not grow. The bitterness of hopes and dreams not yet fulfilled can repress the faith that through the ultimate healer all can be well.

As we enjoy this beautiful season, we may be reminded of the things we long for. Grief is a tool to healing, but sometimes it may feel that it rips at your very soul. Let us remember the reason for this joyous season, Jesus Christ the son of God and Redeemer of all mankind.

Elder Wirthlin left a message for us shortly before his passing about the depths of grief and despair and the hope the Savior brings. A short part of his message can be found in the following Mormon Message:



Allow yourself to grieve if you need to, it is not a sign of weakness. Let us look forward with hope and faith for our “Sunday” to come. The Lord knows our struggles, desires, sadness, and pain. He suffered in Gethsemane to be able to know how to help us even at our darkest points. Remember to share your grief with Him as well as your hopes for your eternal family. 

Continue in Patience

A wonderful reminder about Patience:



"God's promises are not always fulfilled as quickly or in the way we might hope." -Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Doing & Standing Still

Every where you see them…lines of children waiting to hop on Santa’s lap and proclaim their wishes for Christmas toys. Often you see parents hovering near, hoping to hear the gift idea that their child really wants this year. Many of those children may get their Christmas wish…(if it is reasonable and appropriate, of course). For children, the time between sitting on Santa’s lap and Christmas morning seems endless…so long to wait and endure the uncertainty of it all. Maybe you were one of those children, too, who felt December past too slowly and when was your desired gift going to arrive?

As adults, we know that we often must wait for things in life, but have we mastered the skill of waiting? Elder Uchtdorf talked about waiting in a recent conference address on Patience. He taught some important principles which might be helpful for you and your families as you must wait upon the Lord during your adoption process.

I don’t think the standing “still” refers to doing nothing as we wait for a child to be added to our family. I think it means that after and as we go about cheerfully doing all we can,

• we are attentive to the whispering of the Spirit in regards to our adoption planning—following the leads that are given;

• we try to maintain a respectful attitude to our Heavenly Father-the Giver of all great gifts;

• we acknowledge His hand in our lives; and

• we “stand still” often and count our blessings for each other, for extended families, and for all the children in our lives, whether assigned to your immediate family or not.

Our Heavenly Father has a plan for each one of us. We do not know what the end result will be for anyone. However, by both doing and standing still, we can be an active participant in traveling the path set before us by Him.