Vision Statement: Strengthening Eternal Families by Promoting and Defending Adoption and
Increasing our Involvement in the Community

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Follow One Couple's Adoption Journey

Eric & Heather
Eric and Heather are an adoptive couple who are sharing their experiences in a series of guest posts about what it’s like to go through the adoption process with LDS Family Services. Eric and Heather hope that by sharing their experiences others will feel the same peace and support they have received and gain a better understanding of how the adoption process works.

*Please note that for the privacy of our son’s family, we have changed their names for this blog post.  We have also had to leave out a lot of details about his birth, specifically his birth father because our situation was considered an “at risk placement.” We have some very precious pictures we would have loved to post with with our son and his birth mom but that are not appropriate to share at this time. 
Picking up from our last post, Eric called me one day at work and said he had received a phone call from Judy stating that a birth mother, Kate, wanted to meet with us two days later.  He did his best to tell me all the details but I could tell he was struggling to remember it all.  In his defense, there was a lot to remember.  As stated before it was considered an at risk placement so there was a lot to consider and a lot to think about.  After hanging up with him, I thought it would be best to call Judy and get the details myself.  Judy reassured me that this was totally normal because when I called she said, “This is why I always try to call the wife first but you didn’t answer….men don’t seem to remember the details or ask questions.” 
We were excited but I was worried because, I had my hopes up a few times before and then felt great disappointment and sadness.  I wasn’t sure what this meeting would bring.  Eric was surprisingly optimistic.  He felt like this was it.  I was shocked because while he is a very optimistic person, he is not one to jump to conclusions.  He doesn’t get his hopes up before getting all the details but he told me that he felt like this really could be our baby. 
We made arrangements to meet at another agency two days later.  We met with Kate’s caseworker, Sara before meeting Kate.  She told us some more details that made us a bit more confused and by then our heads were spinning.  We weren’t sure how these “face to face” meetings were really supposed to go but they told us that if it wasn’t flowing or they seemed awkward, they would step in and and start asking questions. 
When we walked into the room, I honestly couldn’t believe the overwhelming feeling of peace that I felt.  Eric and I both felt as though all of our fears and worries immediately went away.  We sat down and just started talking with her as though we had known her for years.  I couldn’t believe it. We introduced ourselves and then immediately she said something about Eric reminding her of her brother and then we all started joking from then on.  We laughed about how Eric and I met and about 30 or so minutes after that, we started talking about the baby she was carrying. She never once said that she wanted to place her baby with us (which was very different from what her case worker had mentioned to us) or anything of the sort.  In fact, the meeting ended with her simply asking if she could have our e-mail address and we were content with that.  In that brief 90 minutes or so of talking with her, we had grown to love and adore her and we wanted what was absolutely best for her and the baby she was carrying.  
It was only three days later that we received an e-mail from her but it felt like an eternity.  I had begun to have doubts that she had decided to place her baby with us even though when Eric and I prayed about it, we felt strongly that things were going to work out.  

I was actually holding our friends newly adopted son and while I was so excited for them, I couldn't help feel a little envious and just hoping that our day would be coming soon. Eric turned to me and said, “can I hold him?”  I thought that was a bit odd because while Eric loves kids, he isn’t one to take a newborn out of my arms very often.  I looked at him kind of strangely and he handed me his phone and said, you’re going to want to read this.  I looked at him confused and nervous.  I said, “Am I going to cry?”  He kind of snickered and said, “Probably.  You always cry.”  Eric had read a few sentences to know enough of what was going on to pass this sweet little boy off to another friend so that he could see me reading this e-mail from Kate and I immediately got to my knees and started crying.  Moments before reading this e-mail, we were all talking about how we wish we could just see a blue print of Heavenly Father’s time line and then I am sobbing tears of joy while feeling the Saviors love so strongly and these friends, having been through the same thing, knew exactly how it felt.  It was so incredible. It was so amazing to see the joy in Eric’s face and to be able to share that with another couple who have felt that same kind of joy too.  I can’t even describe how sacred and tender that moment was for us. 
After making sure we told everyone we could at that extremely late hour, we continued celebrating by running around in the pouring rain, feeling as though we were kids without a care in the world, we came home absolutely soaking wet but happier than we had ever been.  That was one day Eric and I will remember and cherish for the rest of our lives. 

We are excited to share how blessed we were to get to know Kate over the next few months, Parker’s birth and placement and what how our open adoption works now in our next post.  
If you'd like to hear more about each phase in the adoption process, click below to hear more about Eric and Heather's experiences.


No comments: