In June of 2010, our dream of being parents finally came true. The adoption of our daughter became official that day. We felt so grateful to be parents of the most beautiful little girl we had ever seen! We had prayed and prayed for that day to come and to have it come true was absolutely surreal.
Our road to parenthood wasn’t an easy one. In fact, it was quite the opposite. It was a broken road, full of bumps and twists and turns that we didn’t foresee when we decided to go off birth control and start a family in October 2002.
Getting pregnant proved to be difficult and after months and months of negative tests, pills, and rounds of diagnostic testing, we sat with a specialist at the University of Utah and heard the brutal diagnosis of “unexplained infertility.”
The specialist explained our options, but none of them provided me with much hope. We didn’t know what to do next, so we did nothing. Before we knew it, two years had gone by. We needed to do something, but with limited funds, infertility treatments were out of our reach. My husband’s brother and his wife had just adopted two boys from foster care. The more we talked with them about foster care, the more we found it to be a possible option for us. We finally made a decision to become foster parents.
After many classes, fingerprinting, a home study, etc., we were ready to bring a child into our home. On July 14, 2009, at approximately 2:20 p.m. we got the call from our caseworker that a blonde, 9 month old baby girl needed a home and her mother was pregnant with another baby so the placement could possibly be for two children. Boy, were we nervous! We decided to jump in with both feet and by 5:00p.m. that same night, we picked up that darling baby girl and instantly fell in love with her.
Five months later, the birthmom gave birth to another baby girl. We were asked to take that baby home from the hospital because they wanted siblings to stay together. Of course we would! The girls were half-siblings. They had the same mother, but different fathers. Raising girls that were just 14 months apart in age was a challenge, especially since we were first-time parents! And being foster parents complicated matters. There were parent visits, doctor visits, caseworker visits, etc. Foster care provided us with many bumps and bruises on our broken road to parenthood. It was a VERY difficult experience. Emotions always ran high and we often felt drained and depleted. It was so overwhelming at times that it was difficult to just relax and enjoy these two sweet girls in our home.
Our first victory was getting the news that we would be able to adopt the oldest girl. That adoption became official in June of 2010. Two weeks later, we were sealed as an eternal family in the Salt Lake City Temple.
We were still fostering the younger baby girl at this time. We were the only parents that the younger baby girl had ever known. She and her sister were extremely close and I couldn’t stand the thought of them being separated. Our biggest nightmare came true, however, and we had to hand over the youngest baby girl to her biological parents just one week shy of her first birthday.
It is so difficult to put into words just how painful that experience was. There really aren’t any words that can describe it. It felt as if our own baby girl had passed away. But at least if a child passes away, you can find comfort in the fact that they are in a better place. Foster care proved to be too challenging on our hearts, and so we did not accept any more placements after that.
Amid our heartache, we found enough courage to try in-vitro fertilization in an attempt to have another child. It proved to be almost as difficult as foster care. We initially became pregnant after we implanted two embryos, but I quickly miscarried them one week later.
Two years have passed again and we are still trying to find peace and healing for our hearts. We are lucky enough to be in contact with our daughter’s birthmother and have been able to see our daughter’s half-sister on more than one occasion since she has returned to live with her birth parents. We are also a “waiting family” through Everlasting Adoptions (www.everlastingadoptions.com) and hope to have another child join our family soon through the miracle of adoption.
No matter what our future holds, we find peace in the fact that we will always be parents because of the adoption of our daughter. She is now four years old and is truly the light of our lives! We know for a fact that God blessed the broken road that led us straight to her!
(Words from Rascal Flatts song, “Bless the Broken Road.”)