Vision Statement: Strengthening Eternal Families by Promoting and Defending Adoption and
Increasing our Involvement in the Community

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Eric and Heather's Adoption Journey- Part 1

Introducing Eric and Heather, a prospective adoptive couple who will be sharing their experiences in a series of guest posts about what it’s like to go through the adoption process with LDS Family Services.

We are excited for the opportunity to share our adoption experience with you and hope that you may find something that resonates with your own thoughts and experiences in our blog posts. Our dear friends, who have been or are currently in similar situations, have helped us find great peace and comfort as they have shared their excitement and concerns about adoption with us. Our hope is that this blog will help others feel the same peace and support we received in knowing that we all are not alone in our situations and experiences.

Eric and Heather met each other at a Young Single Adult Activity. Their adoption journey began when they were newlyweds:

Background and Infertility Diagnosis
Eric graduated with his Bachelor’s the month before we were married and I had about a year before I would graduate. We decided to wait until I was finished with school before having children. In April of 2008, when I was just a few months away from graduation, we decided that it was close enough, so we started trying. We were thrilled and nervous all the same time. After about six months with no luck, we decided to make an appointment with my doctor. I was put on some medicine for several more months but still no luck. I went off the medicine after a while and we just decided we were going to see what happened. During this time, we had almost everyone we knew comment on why it wasn’t happening for us. It seemed like everyone knew what was wrong but us. It had been about a year and a half when I went back to that same doctor and he said that we still had some options but that maybe we should test Eric, just to make sure everything was okay. We made an appointment with the Andrology clinic down at the University of Utah that same month and after what seemed like forever, we were called with the results. I remember talking with the nurse and thinking to myself, “This isn’t how it is supposed to be,” and wondering how I was going to tell Eric. Eric actually came home as I was hanging up the phone with the nurse and we talked about it and he said exactly what I needed to hear. Eric is always so optimistic and always trying to look at the bigger picture and see what we can learn from the trials we go through. It took us several months to decide what we wanted to do. The results that we received did not indicate that we would never be able to conceive, they stated that it would be very difficult, but not impossible, so it seemed as though we went back and forth multiple times on what we should do.

The Decision to Adopt
After spending a lot of time on our knees and in the temple, we decided to move forward with adoption. I can honestly say that I am thrilled about the idea of adoption and I feel very strongly that this is the right path for Eric and I to be on. However, I think the reason it took us over a year to make this decision is because I thought that once we made the decision to adopt, we wouldn’t be saddened or even jealous when we heard of others becoming pregnant. I was so sure that if we were to be blessed by having our child come to us through adoption, I would no longer be bothered when someone complained about being pregnant or commented on how they wish they didn’t have to have morning sickness or gaining weight. I didn’t understand why I would be bothered by such comments if I was so thrilled about adoption. It made me nervous and made me second guess my previous promptings and feelings towards adoption. Luckily, we have some wonderful couples in our ward that have adopted and we were able to talk with them and hear their thoughts and feelings. They helped me realize that I was not alone in my feelings and that they, too, had similar feelings, and still do. After several discussions with each of these couples, our worries became smaller and I felt even greater peace about the concerns that I had. Eric and I spent a lot of time talking about our feelings and impressions that we had and we realized that our greatest desire was to be parents rather than to become pregnant.

We continued to pray about our decision and I remember being in the temple one day and having the impression that everything would be okay and that we were to move forward with adoption.

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