Vision Statement: Strengthening Eternal Families by Promoting and Defending Adoption and
Increasing our Involvement in the Community

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Eric and Heather's Adoption Journey- Part 2

Eric and Heather are a prospective adoptive couple who are sharing their experiences in a series of guest posts about what it’s like to go through the adoption process with LDS Family Services. Eric and Heather hope that by sharing their experiences others will feel the same peace and support they have received and gain a better understanding of how the adoption process works.

Click on the following to read their previous posts:

Eric and I had spent a lot of time talking with other adoptive couples and even though many of the couples went through different agencies, every couple we spoke with said that LDS Family Services has great education classes and offers support that is hard to find elsewhere so we decided to attend an orientation to learn more. Since we had both recently started new jobs, it was difficult to take an afternoon off to attend the orientation in Layton. We got permission from the case workers in Layton to attend the orientation in Salt Lake City.

We went to the orientation not really knowing what to expect and still contemplating if this was the right agency for us. While we were there, we had the opportunity to discuss many of our concerns with the case worker and other couples. We were reassured by meeting with other couples in similar situations that we were not alone and there are people who understand what we are going through. While we reviewed the information, we felt a great sense of unity with all those who were in the room.

That meant a lot to us because while we had received a lot of love and support from those people who are close to us, most of them really didn’t understand what we were going through because they had never been there. It was nice to talk to people who had struggled with the same trials and who truly understood the pain and heartache that we were feeling.

By attending the orientation, we gained greater insight about what to expect while completing the adoption process. We were assured that the process would not be easy but that there would be many resources along the way to help. We were amazed at the love and unity that we felt, just in the orientation and how the Spirit in the room was so strong and we felt a great sense of peace and comfort.

We left the orientation with a greater understanding of what to expect throughout the process and felt like LDS Family Services has a lot to offer adoptive couples but we were still not positive if this was the agency that we would be placed with our baby. After a lot of thought and prayer, we decided to schedule an intake interview and explore our options further.

Intake Interview
The idea of an intake interview was a difficult one for us. It felt like it was an interview to see if whether or not we were fit to be parents. The idea that just about anyone could become a parent but we had to be interviewed was a hard concept for us. While we understood that undergoing screenings is a necessary step in placing a child, we were afraid that if we didn’t have the right answers to the questions, our dream of becoming parents would be lost. Regardless of our fears and anxiety about the interview, we knew we had to do it, so we went ahead and scheduled the interview for an evening after work.

After meeting with Judy for just a few minutes, our nerves were quickly settled and we were able to be ourselves. We spent the first part of the interview just getting to know each other. She asked us to tell her a little about each of us and how we met. We each have different versions of how we met so Eric started off by telling her how he thinks we met and then I told her how we really met. We spent a while laughing and joking about our story while we got to know each other.

Judy then asked us what brought us to LDS Services. We were completely honest with her and told her that we felt strongly about adopting, but we weren’t sure about where we would find our baby. We told her that we started with LDS Services for two reasons. The first being the feeling of love and support that you can find with people that share your same values and beliefs, and the second reason being that LDS Services fit better financially within our current situation. Judy was very understanding and she was so kind to share her own personal experience with adoption and she reassured us that we were right in thinking that we were looking for our baby and not just any baby. Throughout the interview, she was very considerate of that and continually said, “If you decide to go through us.” We weren’t sure what we were doing, and I am sure she was very well aware of that, but she was very sensitive towards our thoughts and feelings. The rest of the interview was spent reviewing the adoption packet and going into greater details about the adoption process.

We had been praying for months as to whether or not LDS Services was the agency we should continue with and during our interview, we felt the reassurance that this is where we were supposed to be and this was the agency we were to move forward with.

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